A Love Letter To Words

Dear Words,

Thank you for allowing me to process that which cannot be spoken.

For forcing me to put vague emotion into concrete words.
You woo me. You whisper softly at my heart.
I am entranced.
How cannot the world see your wonderful harmony? The uncanny way you weave together reason, irrationality, and the most passionate realms of emotion.
You have changed my life. I desire to spend my life exploring the depth of your wonder.
I thank God for creating you and your ability.
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Rambling

1:13 am.

Songza (aka an app only inspired by God – seriously – go download it) is playing a relaxing playlist.
My bed is calling my name.
My mind whirls in 5 million different directions.
To God’s plan for my life.
The Future.
College.
Dad.
Philip.
My poison ivy covered legs (one reason I am up tonight – I am on medicine that has many side effects including, but not limited to: inexplainable happiness, mood swings, bloating, acne break outs, and inability to sleep).
I have a deep desire to live my life glorifying my God. My God who created the brilliant stars that polka-dot the night sky. He who authored the plan of eternal salvation. He who formed me and wrote out my days before I took a whiff of oxygen. Why would I not want to honor him? I want my actions HERE and NOW to be a brilliant light house in the darkness. I want to pierce the oppressive night with hope, joy, grace, and point eyes to salvation.
Yet, Grief.
A stumbling block in my path.
It feels blinding and oppessive.
The epitome of darkness.
How am I suppose to live my life full and completely with my adored Daddy suddenly snatched from this reckless world by no choice of his own?
How am I suppose to adjust to college naturally with the fresh taste of grief lingering in my life?
How can I live my life free of regrets and untainted from the negative effects of grief?
I hold onto the words uttered by God in Jeremiah 29: For I know the plans I have for you plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you and will bring you back from captivity.”
What an incredible promise.